Lessons on Rest and Burnout

What I wish I’d been told sooner

Your late teens to early twenties are your YES years.

YES! I’ll take a poorly paid job if it gets me on the career ladder.

YES! I’ll stay late to finish the project and earn the respect of my peers.

YES! I’ll go on a second date even though they have the charisma of a damp tea towel.

At least, that was my experience. I didn’t want to turn anything down. I craved the rites of passage that come with leaving home and building a life from scratch. So I grabbed the mechanical bull by the horns and held on tight — until I was violently bucked off, winded, and gasping for air.

Look at these Italian nonnos, about to play chess and drink coffee all afternoon - not an ounce of burnout in sight - mamma mia

I wish burnout had hit me in a single moment. Alas, it didn’t. There were many: fainting on public transport, a panic attack in the Egyptian cotton towel section of M&S, and days of such deep exhaustion I couldn’t get out of bed.

I’m always hesitant to use the word burnout. In a nutshell, burnout is emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress.

It’s a buzzword, often dismissed. A throwaway label for Millennials and Gen Zs who make much ado about nothing.

But the reality is far more serious.

• 90% of employees in the UK are quiet quitting.¹

• 1 in 2 people across 31 countries cite mental health as a top health concern.²

• Burnout now affects nearly 8 in 10 workers worldwide.³

Why, as a species, are we treating our well-being as a luxury?

It’s not something we have to earn.

It’s something we all deserve.

My burnout years

Looking back, the triggers were clear: long commutes, stressful work, and financial anxiety.

At the start of my career, I was commuting up to two hours each way before working a nine-hour shift at a very well-known London fashion house, on a £14,500 starting salary. How I survived on that, I’ll never know.

I was living paycheck to paycheck, drowning in overdraft fees, with a student loan breathing down my neck. It’s a common story, but not the only path to burnout. You might feel it as a parent, a caregiver, or as someone stuck in an unhappy relationship.

At some point, modern life almost guarantees it.

The good news is: it’s not a life sentence. I quit my life and flew 10,000 miles away to find a better one. Of course, not everyone has that luxury, especially when you’re too knackered to even wash the dishes.

Healing burnout doesn’t always require an Eat, Pray, Love moment. Sometimes, the smallest changes can bring you back to yourself.

Market hopping - a fantastic hobby

Cultivate an identity beyond your burnout triggers

I poured everything into work. It was my identity. I thought that’s what success looked like — but it wasn’t. It broke me. Believe me, it ain’t healthy.

I stopped doing the things I loved: rock climbing, photography, and music. Don’t let life get too serious. Seriousness is a cancer. Make space for hobbies that are just for you.

If you don’t know what your hobby is yet, try this: imagine someone gifts you one hour of peace. No tasks, no expectations. What do you do with it? If the answer is “lie down in a cold, dark room and listen to the voices in your head,” … well, you go, Glen Coco.

Energy vampires exist and must be staked (figuratively, of course)

You know the ones. Don’t lie. You know them. But we give them time and space because we want to be good people. But seriously, fuck those people!

When you’re depleted of energy, you need people who charge your batteries, not deplete them. Find people who make you laugh so hard your tum tum hurts. Who lift your spirit by just being around.

You can’t throw garlic at the others, but you can: limit time with them to group settings, have a ready-made excuse to leave early, and avoid confrontation at all costs.

You’re not letting people down by prioritising yourself

Do you ever feel yourself overcommitting to plans? Said yes to a group holiday when you’ve no annual leave left? Agreed to a destination wedding that’s drained your bank account?

We say yes to things we don’t want, then show up resentful. That’s not showing up authentically, and it’s not sustainable.

You can’t be everything to everyone. Those who expect you to be aren’t your people.

Rest isn’t just sleep

Did you know there are 7 different types of rest⁴? We obsess over getting enough zzzs, but there are other ways we can set the body into recovery mode.

For me, rest looks like: yoga (try this mood-boosting one), walking in nature (no headphones!), sensory rest (reading books instead of doomscrolling), and gratitude journaling before bed.

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Wherever you are on your journey, you are not lazy. You are not weak. You are responding — brilliantly, might I add — to a world that demands too much and gives too little.

Burnout recovery is a journey. I’m still on it. Still healing. Likely forever will be. Caught between the push and pull of personal and societal expectations.

Please know, you are not alone.

Q: Have you ever felt burnt out? What are some of your favourite ways to show yourself some rest and self-love? Let’s chat in the comments. 💬

Lotsa love ❤️

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If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy:

1. https://www.hrgrapevine.com/content/article/2024-06-14-90-of-employees-in-the-uk-are-quiet-quitting-according-to-gallup-research

2. https://www.ipsos.com/en-uk/mental-health-seen-biggest-health-issue-while-brits-continue-worry-about-overstretched-nhs

3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout

4. https://blog.calm.com/blog/7-types-of-rest