How to Keep a Positive Mindset When the World Feels Like a Dumpster Fire
+ some literary recommendations
Thank you to the lovely new subscriber who submitted this question in my new reader survey. (Psst, you can leave me messages there or comment/ping me directly!)
As a kid, I had severe insomnia.
I’m not sure what sparked it, but my Mum told me I was always worrying about something. “Eat your peas there are starving kids in Africa,” was a retort that kept me up for weeks. I’d toss and turn in cold sweats, haunted by the injustices plaguing our spinning ball of rock and water.
Such is the consequence of being an empath — absorbing other people’s worries and emotions like a roll of Plenty. If you’ve clicked on this article in search of answers, my guess is you’re one too.
Cambridge Dictionary defines it as:
the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation.
The world needs empathy. But the challenge of repeatedly placing yourself in someone else’s shoes is that your brain often can’t distinguish between the two. I wrote about this in a previous paid post, referencing Maxwell Maltz, who in his bestselling book Psycho-Cybernetics said:
“Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience... Your nervous system reacts appropriately to what you think or imagine to be true.”
That insight is one of the reasons I’ve cut down on news consumption. Exacerbated by COVID, the lines between my own world and others’ became disturbingly blurred. It felt like I was living in a multi-dimensional Marvel universe, each life narrative competing for airtime.
I’d lost sight of my own reality and forgotten what was actually within my control.
Make peace with what you can/can’t control
In a recent post, one reader told me:
“I’ve realised that if I care enough about *world issue* then I can donate money or volunteer time - it makes me feel much better than just consuming relentless bad news.”
I loved this remedy.
While we can’t end a war in the Middle East, we can offer to buy a homeless person lunch or chat with a stranger while waiting for a bus. Think of it like carbon offsetting. “Bad news offsetting” could mean sprinkling a little kindness into the world where you are. Seeing good things play out in real time, in real life is the consistent reminder we need that the world is good and full of many good people.
Spend more time in nature
Did you know the average person spends just two hours and 24 minutes in nature each month? Each month! When I find myself seeing the worst in the world, I go out in search of the best of it. Nature is my tonic.
The other day, I walked down to a local park in Glasgow and watched ducks bobbing for food, bums and legs in the air. It gave me a good giggle. Then a puppy ran up to me, and I got chatting with her owner. When it started to rain, I sat on a bench, zipped into my raincoat, watching small marbles of water bounce off the pond.
That morning I’d felt heavy. Burdened by that which I cannot control. A short walk shifted everything.
Safeguard your routine and rituals
When the world feels chaotic, the guardianship you hold over your inner world becomes even more essential. This is deeply individual. For me, I know I’m more likely to spiral if I haven’t been to the gym or taken a long walk. Without those endorphins, I reach for quick but thoroughly unsatisfying fixes like doomscrolling.
Creating small, consistent rituals can help anchor you. If your days include simple cornerstones — things you always (or almost always) show up for — your feet will feel more firmly planted in the earth. And that big breeze threatening to topple you over (aka the current state of affairs) will have a much harder job doing so.
These rituals can be simple. A coffee at your local cafe, reading a guilty pleasure book for fifteen minutes, or running around a field with your dog. Here are a few more ideas to get you started.
To the reader who asked this question. I want to pour you a cup of tea and give you a big squeeze. I also want to let you know, you are not alone in this feeling. I can guarantee many of us feel the same loss of control right now.
And that’s exactly what the powers that be want us to believe.
But it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Further reading
Some of my favourite books are stories of overcoming — epic physical feats, small acts of kindness, or deeply personal journeys — that remind us of our human strength. Here are a few I love. Please share your recommendations in the comments!
Endurance by Alfred Lansing
The greatest adventure story of ALL time. I caught the Shackleton bug from my boyfriend, and rightly so. His Antarctic expedition is one of the most awe-inspiring feats of human courage ever recorded. If I’m finding something hard, I think of this story and suddenly everything is back in perspective.
Everybody Died, So I Got a Dog by Emily Dean
In just three years, Emily loses her sister and both her parents. This memoir is a beautiful exploration of grief, resilience, and healing. It’s equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious, as she starts over with a Shih Tzu named Raymond.
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
I had to throw this in the mix. Only because it took me years to read it. If you’re a woman reading this, that hasn’t. Don’t think twice. Order it. Utterly life-changing. There’s a reason it’s sold over 12 million copies.
Swimming with the Viking of Skye by Richard Waters
A new release I found in the local library. My parents live in Skye, so it piqued my interest — and I’m so glad I took it with me. Richard writes about receiving a Parkinson’s diagnosis at age 41 and how cold water swimming has saved his life.
The Salt Path by Raynor Winn
The one book I tell everyone to read. Life-affirming and deeply moving. A celebration of the human spirit in the face of immense loss. Nature, love, health, and hope all rolled into one.
Coasting by Elise Downing
Elise sets out to run the coastline of Britain without much of a plan — or a map, for that matter. It’s a hilarious, honest account of muddling through your twenties and attempting something massive. Did she make it? No spoilers…
What’s something small that helps you feel grounded when the world gets heavy? I’d love to hear in the comments.
Spending time with my cat is always a go-to grounding ritual for me. Just watching her carefree little attitude helps me pull out of any doom and gloom I might be feeling. 🩶
I completely agree on having little rituals to keep you grounded and often write about similar topics. Keeping one eye on the news while being able to let it go is always a challenge.